you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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