sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize