So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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