Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
she smelled like a LAN party
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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