Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I need to align my fucking chakras
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
