I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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