Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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