I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
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