I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Randomize
