how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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