She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
