I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Randomize
