she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
