sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
