I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Shame is for Republicans.
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