Dual....:-)
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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