I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Randomize
