I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
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