Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
