She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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