If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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