I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
