i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize
