by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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