It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
