That's intense
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
My feet surprised me
Randomize
