Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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