i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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