why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I need water and some morals
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
