RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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