I can tuck mytits in my pants
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
