I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize