i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
