My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
