Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
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