I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
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