hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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