I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
