Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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