Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize