i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
