Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
