You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Randomize
