Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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