I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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