we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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