So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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