I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Randomize
