if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
