I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
