it hurts more in the daytime
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
