I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize