I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
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