Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
