Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
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