This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
