You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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