i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
