I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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