Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
