I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
this beer tastes like vomit already
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
