yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize