How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
