Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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