I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
