I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
