That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
